There’s no perfect girlfriend or boyfriend – no perfect woman, no perfect man, no perfect couple. But there are some that come quite close.

After long trips, living in four countries and a zillion of other experiences, I kind-of figured out what’s the trick – what do I need to look for in a person (in my case, in girls), to make sure any relationship I have is strong and full of love.

I always look, almost unconsciously, for five key aspects – and I strongly suggest you to look for these same too. I write specifically about girls, but, in general terms, the same kind-of applies to guys too.

Here they are:

1- She Has to Be Attractive

It’s sad, but that’s the way it is – if a girl is not nice looking, it won’t go. I don’t consider myself superficial, but I still won’t feel attracted to a bad looking girl.

My instincts push me for a nice face, a nice ass, nice tits – it’s printed in my soul, and so it’s the soul of other men. What is attractive is, though, subjective – it’s all up in the air. What I like it’s not what you may like, and viceversa.

However, in the end you need to feel attracted to your couple – if you don’t, it won’t work.

What’s the point of being with someone when you’ll be looking around for others? Better to take some more time and then find someone you truly feel attracted to and stick to him or her.

2- She Has to Be a Great Woman

I’ve a weakness for great women. I have a fetish for girls doing something special – from crazy health and sports goals, to work and studies, to whatever it comes. All as long as it’s not ‘normal’, and it’s epic in a positive way.

Greatness is a crazy trip, experiences, starting a movement, a foundation… It’s just something cool! Something that few have done.

I like great women because I like to learn. While it’s fun to be the ‘papa’ in the relationship, that gets old, and gets old fast – it’s more fun to make it all an exchange. I like to inspire, to teach, to help, to love, and I like to get the same in return. It makes matters more fun.

I bombard girlfriends with questions, ask them for advice – all the time, and about things they find ridiculous, unnecessary. But then, it makes me more in love – it helps them win my total respect, it makes me to look up to them. It makes me excited and looking forward to see and talk to them.

3- She Has to Really Love You

If I had to pick just one thing in a girlfriend, this would be it. It’s even more important than beauty or greatness – it’s what, in the end, really matters.

And it’s hard to find – unconditional, total love it’s not a commodity. But then – there it is, and the benefits of having it blow over anything else.

You need to work for it – I sometimes overdo myself to make girls feel that they are really loved. I say it every time I can, and I do stuff to make them feel queens of the universe, the one and only in my mind and in the world, etc. This, with persistence, tends to pays off.

It works because, in the end, I get the same feeling in return. I get girlfriends who would put their hands in the fire for me, and who will be there for me to support, help and encourage me when I need them.

Of course, I can’t and won’t show unconditional love to every girl I am with. I need to feel it – when I say what I say, do what I do… I need to be genuine. It has to really come from the heart. It’s kind of a give-and-receive, plus the two points above. But it’s there.

And sometimes it can go all wrong – sometimes you put a lot of effort, and then it doesn’t really pay off – you can get hurt, get sad, but, then again, it’s still very much worth the risk.

When you are with someone that really likes YOU – that’s when you have a really strong and sustainable relationship.

4- She Must Be Good in Bed

Again, this is sad to say, but that’s the way it is. Bad sex leads to problems in a couple. Not in the short-term, but it does definitely in the long run.

I had some girlfriends who were very bad in bed – without passion, even selfish… and while that never killed the relationship directly, it of course hindered it, it made it worse, and was a part, want it or not, of any eventual break up.

Good sex is the other side of the coin: while it won’t replace any other thing, or make a relationship strong on its own  – it’s a layer on top of everything, and can potentiate all the good stuff.

And it’s not that complicated. It’s not all about how long we last, how good she moves – it’s about the feelings you draw from each other. It’s about feeling wanted – it’s about making the couple feel special, unique, etc.

It’s kind-of the same of the point above, but taken strictly to a deep physical and emotional level. It’s cool, and it really works.

5- She Must Have the ‘Special Touch’

And this one is because I like special people – I like the magic spark. Everyone is, in one way or another, special – by his or her past, by the things he or she does, and by a whole lot of other reasons. I try to dig deep, and really ‘catch’ what can make a certain person in particular special – and then I try to take it all out.

Of course, this magic touch and where to look for it depends from person to person – in my case, this has been, for instance, similar worldviews and similar dreams and goals.

Given that some of my dreams include to live and just meditate and relax for months on a Buddhist monastery in China or Tibet, when I find someone with similar, special ideas my radar instantly turns on. It makes her immediately stand out – for there are billions of girls in the world, and not that many, just few, share some of these ideas.

Or, for instance, I love and love some more Vienna. And, when I find someone who has, in one way or another, a strong connection to that city, it makes matters special – again, it immediately turns the ‘special’ light on the radar.

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Last month’s experiment was a huge success – as I said, January was one of my best months in a long time. Big results, a big push forward – great motivation.

February was not much-so at a first glance – at least business-wise. But then, I wanted to make February an emotional month, and I think I pretty much achieved it.

The new routine this time was to live without criticizing – no complaints, no criticism, no gossip. All love.

Just as Tim did on this article, I defined criticizing as: describing an event or person negatively without indicating next steps to fix the problem.

It’s not that I was a big gossiper, or a consistent critic – but then, going to zero was pretty intense.

As last time, I had a prize. One of my best friends here in Denmark, believing it was “impossible” for me to achieve this, betted me dinner in Noma (world’s best restaurant – very expensive!) that I would fail.

Thankfully for my budget, I didn’t. I didn’t criticize for the whole month – at least not in front of him or my friends.

But then, the results were not as deep or life-changing as I expected. At least at a first glance.

Even if I succeeded, I don’t have the same feeling I had a after installing the ten habits – last time it was like breaking the finish line in a marathon. This time there’s no such feeling.

But then, socially speaking, I think February was one of my best months ever.

I can’t say exactly whether this is a consequence of the new routine or not, but more than never since I came to Denmark I felt I constructed deeper and stronger friendships with many people.

I’ll give it a thought for a while – it can be possible that by never expressing any negative feelings people might (at a subconscious level) find me more attractive, a better friend, etc.

It’s striking, but it’s a very good and unexpected result. Perhaps Dale Carnegie was right – he points out in How to Win Friends and Influence People (GREAT book) that the likes of Abraham Lincoln and other superstars never complained or criticized.

I’m now only a few hours away from going to Lapland – my first time north of the Arctic Circle and off to some reindeer safaris, husky rides and a lot of really crazy stuff. You’ll hear the stories very soon!

All the best to you and have a great March!

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January was my best month in a long time.

I’m happy – my business is doing much better than I expected, I’ve made many great friends, my crazy new projects are on track and I feel physically perfect.

It’s even SUNNY in Copenhagen for once – it’s no joke that things couldn’t be much better.

I start every year with big dreams and high goals, but few times I’ve been so effective as this time. Last year in Rio all my plans crumbled under the constant 35-40° C (A LOT °F), sandy beaches two minutes from home and those micro-bikini Brazilians walking all around.

But not this this time. Now I know exactly where my North lies, and I know what I need to do to get one step closer to it every day. Now I’m DOING that, and I will teach you how.

Late last year I started writing about one habit every month as the slow, but consistent, sure-fire way to become the man or woman you really want to be.

I’ve ordered my finances in November, got my fantasy novel (and some extra sleep) on track in December and in January I decided to take a bigger, more hardcore step.

This time, I started and implemented a Super Ritual – a tight collection of MANY new habits, not just one. I’ve done all these every weekday since I got back from Italy.

My new daily plan goes kind-of like this:

1-    Wake up at 6.30.
2-    Drink ½ l of water first-thing, then 1.5 l more during the first two hours of the day.
3-    Write my dream log.
4-    Make my bed, brush teeth, wash my face and dress up for sports.
5-    Spend ~1 hour at the gym (3 minutes by bike from home), doing weights, cardio and hearing an audiobook.
6-    Have a shower, including 2-3 minutes under very cold water.

I’m a zombie in the morning, but all that kind-of wakes me up a bit. Then, I follow with:

7-    Meditate (or, let’s be honest here – attempt to meditate) for five minutes.
8-    Have a power, protein-rich breakfast.
9-    Take 10 minutes to precisely plan-out the day, MITs, etc – write down the plan in German (soon, in Danish).
10- Work on my business for 4-5 hours using Eben Pagan’s 60-60-30 solution

The latter is time-boxing on steroids – two 60 minutes periods of high-intensity, completely focused work (separated by a 10 minutes break) and 30 minutes to relax and eat a small, healthy and nutritious meal.

It works wonders – and eating every 2 hours, though ridiculous at first, has MANY benefits. It’s a perfect system if you are at a flexible working environment as your own house or a cozy café.

11- Took a 20-30 minute power-nap or siesta to close the first half of the day – waking up at 14.00 with the rest of the day to go.

After that, the daily plan is a bit more blurry. Sometimes I work on my core business, sometimes I write for the sake of it, sometimes I work on my other projects or, given the case, I study (I’m a student here after all!)

What I’ve ALWAYS done, though, was to meet up with at least one person for coffee, dinner or a drink in the afternoon or evening. Not necessarily for business – just to catch up, enjoy some company and share stories.

If you work alone, DO THAT. It really makes the day work keeps the spirit high. I live with three guys here in Copenhagen – but it’s not the same as going out and meeting up with someone different.

If you have read my Inevitable Success guide (available for RSS or Email Subscribers – just sign up!), you might identify a few things from the list. Because it’s true – it’s not the first time I go to the gym first thing morning, nor it’s the first time I implement Eben Pagan’s 60-60-30 solution.

But January was the one time I was really hardcore about it – I didn’t skip not even one point in list during the whole month.

But Shouldn’t I Start Just One Habit Every Month?

Yep – it doesn’t make much sense to start 10+ habits in just one month. In a normal situation, 99% of the people would fail – and I include myself on the list.

But there’s a hack around it. Steve wrote a great article about the topic, and there’s one key he pointed out:

CHAIN the Habits.

That is – make the new routines go one immediately after the other, in a chain-like fashion and transform them into one SUPER RITUAL. Make the first routine lead you the second, and so on.

Except my daily café time, all the other habits are squeezed in the morning – and the first nine all in just TWO hours. If I had them spread around, I’m absolutely sure I would fail.

The Three Keys to Success

Still with the routines chained, the whole prospect is ridiculously hard. You MUST do some other stuff, and these are what, I believe, make the biggest difference:

1- Wyatt Woodsmall says, and I agree, that there are two keys to successfully starting a habit: start now and don’t deviate. I’m sure that if I had started one day later or deviated one ‘exceptional’ day, I wouldn’t have done this.

There are no excuses – no matter if I had slept just 2 hours, I woke up at 6.30 and went to do my stuff. Failing one day trains you to fail more.

2- Prepare the day and ‘clean the grill’. I’m lazy by nature – to raise from bed I have to put my alarm 3 meters away. As soon as I stand up and turn it off, I see a short letter, conveniently placed next to the alarm: “Do EPIC SHIT today”.

I leave my ½ l of water or juice next to it and my gym clothes in a chair to the side. Computer is off, house keys are there and the Ipod is already stocked up with the audiobook for the day. I don’t give myself any room for excuses – it’s all prepared.

A computer turned on is an invitation to check my e-mails, and extra time to find stuff just makes you feel that “maybe it’s too late today to go”. Two minutes of work before bed just make it all work.

3- Have hefty prices and penalties. For once, I found some good prices and penalties that work. If I followed the routine strictly and without any exception, then I would buy myself an Iphone 4 (I really want one!). On the other hand,  for every day I failed I would have to go and sit down in Church for an hour.

I’ve ever since changed the Iphone 4 for a trip to Lapland, this nice place in Finland North of the Artic Circle, in February (because Denmark is not cold enough).

Looking Forward

No month is perfect, but January was pretty high standard. I could have done MORE, I’m sure – and I could still be much more productive. But I kind-of found a right balance between the serious stuff and the relaxed lifestyle I so much love.

As Leo pointed out, the momentum of success builds you up to try more and more successful habits, and for February, I’m preparing a one-month experiment like no other I’ve done.

This time I’ll try something completely emotional. Most of my new routines have worked on my physical and logical sides, so it’s time to try something different.

I’m sure it’s something that will do me very good, and watch out – there is a very high probably of failure. You’ll learn about what this is by the end of next month.

Habit is Destiny

I’m also getting very excited about the prospect of successfully starting and keeping more and more life-changing habits.  Really – I feel I’ve changed a lot for the better ever since I started methodizing and logging all this.

I honestly can’t imagine how much of a greater version of Mario I could become if I keep successfully doing this in the long-term.

This is VERY POWERFUL, and I’m pretty sure that in the long run it could take me to ANYWHERE I want.

Think it for yourself too – Where do you want to be? What do you really want to get out of life?

Think about which routine or habit, which DAILY ritual could get you closer to that place you want to be at. Find what that is and start doing it EVERY DAY.

I’m off now to a conference and closing January somewhere close to Copenhagen with 200+ guys and girls from Denmark, Sweden and Norway. Doing epic shit will worn you out, so nothing better than a good trip once month to recharge the batteries! =)

Here’s wishing you all a great month.

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It may possibly happen that, sooner or later, you have to move into a new country. Maybe it is for studying, maybe for work or it could possibly be just because you wanted to. Leaving your country is not as easy as some people think – especially when you are heading to a different culture or a place where you know no one or have little idea about.

I was in that situation a few times and, after good and bad moments, I finally came up with a method of what to do to have success and integrate as fast as possible. I’ll share the main points here with you. If you got any other suggestion or some new insight, leave a comment below!

Moving into a new country requires preparation that goes beyond making the bags and some vague research about the country. I would suggest you to:

• If moving into a country with a different language, learn at least the basics. It’s not too hard and will make a good first impression that you at least try. Then, make sure to check out the history of the city you are going to, its culture, lifestyle and so on. That is, so as not to be surprised – You have to know the terrain. And, also, people will appreciate that you are trying to learn and integrate into their culture as fast as possible.
• Contact people beforehand. Try meeting locals through the Internet before you travel. Chat and exchange messages. There are a lot of social networks and hundreds of people who are willing to help and to get to know you. It is a great way to have friends to meet up with as soon as you get to the new city.
• If you are going to the new city alone, it would be great for you to find a house with nice and cool roommates. It will do you good to have nice and easy going people to speak with at home – It’s much better to be alone in a place you know few. These roommates will help you integrating!
• Once you move in, organize a few dinners and parties. Invite your new friends; make them all get to know each other. Cook something from your country and make sure everyone has a great time. Make it so good that they are anxious waiting for the next time you organize something.
• Go to social gatherings about something you feel identified with. I like to go to Church and messes as soon as I move in, for instance. But the possibilities are huge, especially if you move into a big city. Think about what you like to do at home and do it there!
• Fall in love with a bar or café. After checking out the town, choose one or two places and go to them frequently. Get to know the waiters, the regulars and make yourself feel like home in there. It is much better than being a ghost in many places!
• Join groups about things you love. And, if there are not, build them! If your idea is good and you are energetic and serious about it, people will help you. Build a group about anything – I’m going to organize the Spanish-Local Language meetings anywhere I go, the tango groups and so on. Do something yourself too!
• Get in contact with your embassy. It may possibly happen that they are nice people, helpful and that you could even befriend them. Many times embassies organize meetings, dinners and more, so make sure you are in the list for all these. And, even if they are not that nice, it’s always good they know you are there either way.
• Always be energetic and willing to have an excellent time. Never wait for the others to make a move, most of the times it’s you who will have to. It kind of sucks, but it does make sense that until you really befriend the new people, it is you who will have to call, organize meetings and push to go out all together.
• Unless you are a native speaker of the new country’s language, you have a perfect excuse to start dating girls/boys every day. Go out with three or four new people every week and organize lunch, a café or just a walk in the park to practice the new language. Tell them that you want to meet up so they can help you with it. In return you teach them your language or something else you do. It looks as something completely inoffensive but it has been the ultimate dating technique when abroad!
• Do group activities that highlight your value. If you are a good dancer, go to dancing classes or dancing meet ups. If you are a great guitar player, try checking out the underground groups and meet up people, join a band. If your thing is martial arts, join a training group. Same idea applies to almost everything!
• Ping! Call your new friends, don’t let the relationships fade away so fast. People, generally, have really boring lives. So make sure you brighten them up with some energy and new ideas.
• Stay outside from your house. Staying too much time home is a killer, it’s much better for you to be outside and feel and live the city. Unless it’s freezing or you are absolutely broke, write your emails from a café, go writing to the park or go for a run around the city.

Any tips you would like to share? Have your say in the comment box!

Photo credit: gabrielsaldana

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I’m in love with high-goals.

I don’t want to have a small business – I want to have a really big one. I don’t want to speak just three languages – I want to speak more than ten. I also don’t want to stay all my life in Argentina – Instead I pursue to travel to every corner of the Earth.

This is how I am and how I think; I need to have really high goals – they are what keep me going. They make me wake up all thrilled and excited.

Do you have your own?

Why You Should Have High Goals

You need to think high if you want to be remarkable. Churchill didn’t think about signing a good armistice deal with the Nazis – He instead decided to push on and win the war, even when the odds where overwhelmingly against him. Schliemann didn’t go to play to the Aegean – He went to dig out Troy. And you know well that James Cameron built Avatar to be the success it was.

Big guys think big – Is not a simple coincidence. Luck can help, as so can many other factors. But the real deal comes from that drive and commitment to achieve that success people have.

Whoever wants to achieve something great in his or her life has to have high goals. They are what will make you stand out from the rest. If you want to be a huge success, aim high – aim for the stars. If you don’t get there you’ll still go a long way.

My Own High Goals

I have many life goals. And most of them very high – you might even find them disturbing. But well, I’m sure that if I want to live an exciting life I have to pursue exactly this:

• Climb Mt. Everest (as well as the rest of the Seven Peaks.)
• Write a #1 NYT Best-Selling Book.
• Discover and dig out the Alexandrian cities of Nicaea and Bucephalia.
• Speak fluently more than ten languages.
• Become President of Argentina.
• Have a great wife and strong, healthy and well educated kids.

You may well now laugh at me if you want. This list will look impossible to most of you reading – But it is that impossible? Think about it. Life is NOT short. It’s really long if you are willing to spend it doing the stuff that matters.

I believe that I might achieve the first four points before even getting 30. It will require blood, sweat and tears, but it’s not something completely out of reach. It will be tricky, though, if those two ancient cities are really lost forever.

The Psychological Aspect

People often ask: won’t you be depressed and void if you don’t get as high as you want to? Definitely NO. As long as you give your best and fire your best shot, there’s no reason to be depressed.

I’ll try everything to get to the peak of the Everest. If a snow storm stops me, I’ll try again. If my body is not strong enough, I’ll train harder. But if it’s just impossible for me to do it I won’t keep hitting myself to the wall. I’ll be content enough with getting a hundred meters off the peak.

I won’t kill myself if I can’t find Nicaea and Bucephalia either. I’ll dig until the center of the Earth before giving up. But if they are not there, I’ll just move on. There will be no reasons to be gloomy about it.

As long as you make sure you tried your best, there’s no reason to be depressed. It’s actually unfair to blame yourself if you gave the most. The problem is that people often don’t push themselves to the real limit. If you want to win big, you have to push to the very end and not an inch less.

Someone is always doing something someone else said was impossible. Try trying.

Photo credit: Ground Zero.

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